The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's" Inferno Test

Tasty Wolfsbane

[Originally posted on DVDmon.com in 2000]

The Wolf Man (1941)

Film: ****
Audio: **1/2
Video: ***1/2
Extras: ****
Value: ****
Overall: ****

Studio: Universal Produced: 1941 Rated: NR Running Length: 70 min. DVD Release: 11/2/99 Video: 1.33:1 (Full-frame) Audio: English DD 1.0

Even though it comes late in the original Universal Monsters cycle, George Waggner’s The Wolf Man (1941) is rightfully a classic horror movie. The film stars Lon Chaney Jr., the son of the silent screen’s greatest horror icon, Lon Chaney. In this film, Chaney Jr. begins his own ascent into the horror movie pantheon by portraying Larry Talbot, a prodigal son returning to his homeland after years abroad. Unfortunately, while love begins to bloom for Larry in the form of Gwen Conliffe (Evelyn Ankers), so also blooms the wolfbane. After being bitten in an attack by a gypsy werewolf (Bela Lugosi), Larry has to wrestle with his fate.

To criticize a film like The Wolf Man by the standards of films which are made today is to miss a magical opportunity to enjoy classic myth-making. Of course the film is in black and white, the acting seems more stagey, and the violence is hidden from sight. These are the charms of the golden age of Hollywood. But what film made recently can boast the creepy charm of a forest ensconced with thick fog, or a small village of superstitious, torch bearing denizens? To answer my own question, Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow (1999), which is as much an homage to the classic Universal horror films as it is to the Hammer horror films of the 1950’s and 1960’s. While the look of The Wolf Man has been influential, it is the anguished monster (as in Frankenstein) which is played for the audience’s sympathy and not just for abject horror that elevates the film above other movies of its kind.

The presentation of the movie is very good with the occasional scratch or spot, but this is also a film which is almost sixty years old. Needless to say, the sound is Dolby Digital Mono. However, the DVD is yet another loaded special edition containing a half-hour documentary, Monster by Moonlight, hosted by director John Landis (An American Werewolf in London). It is very informative and gives a lengthy breakdown into how makeup artist Jack Pierce went about creating the infamous Wolf Man mask. Another bonus feature is a non-stop commentary track by film historian Tom Weaver. A highlight of his comments concerns the aborted attempt to make a werewolf movie back in the early 1930’s which would have starred Boris Karloff. If you’’ve never listened to an audio commentary, this is a great example of what they should be like. Additionally, the disc presents a montage of posters and on-set photos set to the fantastic film score by Charles Previn, Hans J. Salter, and Frank Skinner.

If you are a fan of classic monster movies, The Wolf Man is a howling good time.

Long Dark Teatime of the Soundtrack

Douglas Adams first entered my life on June 14, 1981 by way of WPLN and the radio version of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. For the next several weeks I began my first attempts at skipping church in order to record the newest installment. Soon thereafter I bought the first book in hardcover and not much later than that I began signing my English papers as Zaphod Beeblebrox (in response to my friend’s new appellation, Bungalow Bill). Over the next few years I would tape the TV series off WDCN and read the other fine books in the series. You could say I was a fan. Not obsessive, but interested. However, it wouldn’t be until last year that I would learn a deep dark secret of the Guide.

The Eagles recorded the theme song!

Pause with me for a moment. Perhaps you knew this. I didn’t. Those inglorious California milquetoast country rockers, The Eagles, recorded a piece of music which brought tears to my eyes when I saw the movie theatrically because I had so much emotional baggage tied up in it. The Eagles. Honestly, I don’t have anything against them. I’ve even owned both of their Greatest Hits collections a long time ago (but no more).

So, with scientific interest in mind, I have been searching for The Eagles album One of These Nights which contains the song “Journey of the Sorcerer”. My search finally ended yesterday at The Great Escape with a cheap $4 LP purchase. And yes, that’s the song alright. Not your typical Eagles number as there is no harmonious singing or squealing guitar solos, just a banjo and an orchestra. It’s a great number, written by Bernie Leadon, who is not generally regarded as a heavy hitter within the group (that would be Mssrs. Frey, Henley, Felder and later Walsh). “Sorcerer” has a vaguely spacey feeling to it, but only in that early 70’s jam band kind of way where the drugs are just kicking in and you feel like your flying man, just waving that freak flag like you don’t care and to hell with the man!!!

So why was this song chosen? Let us refer to Wikipedia:

The theme tune used for the radio, television, LP and film versions is "Journey of the Sorcerer," an instrumental piece composed by Bernie Leadon and recorded by The Eagles on their album One of These Nights. Only the transmitted radio series used the original recording; a soundalike cover by Tim Souster was used for the LP and TV series, another arrangement by Joby Talbot was used for the 2005 film, and still another arrangement, this time by Philip Pope, was recorded to be released with the CDs of the last three radio series. Apparently, Adams chose this song for its futuristic sounding nature, but also for the fact that it had a banjo in it, which, as Geoffrey Perkins recalls, Adams said would give it an "on the road, hitch-hiking feel.”

Well, there you have it. Douglas Adams used to listen to The Eagles. Next thing you know they’ll claim that Doctorin’ The Tardis by The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu a.k.a. The Timelords were inspired by Gary Glitter and Sweet.

Dr. No

[Originally published at DVDMon.com in 2000]

Dr. No (1963) - (Other Action)

Film: ****
Audio: ***
Video: ***1/2
Extras: ****1/2
Value: ****
Overall: ****

Studio: MGMProduced: 1963Rated: PGRunning Length: 110 min.DVD Release: 5/16/00Case: Keep Case CaseVideo: 1.78:1 (Anamorphic/Enhanced for 16x9 TV’’s)Audio: English DD 1.0, Spanish DD 1.0, French DD 1.0Subtitles: NoneRetail price: $30Low online price: $20-->

Every film series has to have a beginning, and while Dr. No is not necessarily the best of the James Bond films (From Russia with Love) nor the worst (A View to a Kill), it does hold the distinction of being the first. In this initial adventure, 007 is sent to Jamaica to investigate the disappearance of another operative. While there he uncovers the fiendish Dr. No, an ally of that international organization of evil, SPECTRE. The movie introduces the Bond aficionado to numerous elements which have come to epitomize the spy chic of the series: exotic locales, diabolical villains, buxom beauties, and rampant political incorrectness.

To a degree, it is the un-PC nature of the James Bond films which helps the series maintain a level of illicit appeal. Bond seduces no less three women through the course of the film, and flirts mercilessly with others. In a day and age where sex can equal death, this attitude seems almost naive. Misogyny aside, a truly disturbing side of Bond is the slight undercurrent of racism. The character of Quarrel (John Kitzmiller) comes off little better than one of the wide-eyed supporting roles played by Mantan Moreland (numerous Charlie Chan films and King of the Zombies). The most egregious example of is Quarrel’’s superstitious belief in the "dragon" of Crab Key. For him to be a part of voodoo would be one thing as it is a real religion, but believing in fire breathing monsters is another. (An interesting sidenote: Quarrel’’s son appears in Live and Let Die which does use voodoo as one of the story devices.) By forcing him to believe in a myth, the story strips him of emotional weight. Of course, 1962 was a world where civil rights were being fought for with real blood, not the stage variety. Such frivolities, of course, were below the radar for a spy concerned with stopping the scourge of evil.

Perhaps, I’’m taking shots at Dr. No because it is considered a classic film. It is an exciting fantasy world that Sean Connery illuminates for us with his prototypical panache. But, it is interesting to look back from the cusp of the 21st century and marvel at the simplistic and partially backwards world of 007.

The DVD is a standard bearer for other like-minded releases, offering two documentaries (one on the origin of the film series and the other on Bond’’s first director). There are also a variety of trailers, ads, photos, and posters archived on the disc. Last, but no least, is the commentary track which hosts an almost dizzying array of people involved in the production. The sound is presented in glorious monophonic splendor and letterboxed for 16x9 enhancement.

- Review By Chris Peltier

Martin

[This was originally published as part of DVDmon back in 2000]

Martin (1977) - (Other Horror)

Film: ****
Audio: ***
Video: ***
Extras: ***
Value: ***1/2
Overall: ****


Studio: Anchor BayProduced: 1977Rated: R Running Length: 94 min. DVD Release: 7/4/00 Video: 1.33:1 (Full-frame) Audio: English DD 1.0 Subtitles: None Retail price: $30 Low online price: $18-->

George Romero’’s film, Martin, is a postmodern approach to the vampire myth which eschews all the typical phantasmagorical elements in order to place its monster in the world. Vampires walk in the sun, eat garlic, and long for "sexy stuff" relationships that involve partners who are awake. The film begins with the title character boarding a train where he stalks and murders a victim. The images on screen alternate between a black and white version of what is playing in Martin’’s imagination and a color depiction of his crime. In reality, Martin doesn’’t hypnotize his victims and bite them. Instead, he shoots them up with drugs and then slits their wrists, letting the blood flow all over himself.

Arriving in Pittsburg, Martin is met by his European cousin, Cuda, who is very superstitious. Cuda warns Martin that he will save his soul before destroying him because he knows that Martin is Nosferatu. The dichotomy of the naturalized Martin versus the Old World ways of Cuda is just one of the fascinating themes in Romero’’s film. In a country where we long for roots to a forgotten past, Cuda is a troubling reminder of what those times also held. He is not mistaken in thinking Martin to be evil, but he is thoroughly wrong in thinking why.

Martin does not glamorize vampire chic the way many other films do. Martin’’s feedings rarely go the way he imagines they should. While he acknowledges the lack of magic around him, the deeply longs for it. To be a suave ladykiller and have villagers chasing him with torches is much more romantic than bashing bums and running from police officers. Romero punctures the allure of the vampire mythos by reducing them to pathological serial killers.

The DVD is presented in full frame because it was originally shot that way on 16mm. The picture quality is generally good with some slight ringing in the darker shots. The sound is monophonic, but punchy. Included as a bonus feature is an audio commentary with Romero, Tom Savini (who did double duty as special effects make-up and as an actor), and John Amplas (who played Martin). If sitting down with these three and listening to them reminisce sounds like a good time, this is the track for you. The most frustrating part of the track is learning of a three hour version of the film which has vanished. This is not a movie to use as a show off disc, but it is a rewarding experience for fans of George Romero and of vampires.

- Review By Chris Peltier

Forgotten Heroes

[Originally published on April 5, 2006]

Today is a blogging birthday bash for the brilliant Roger Corman: director, writer, producer, actor, and all around cool guy. Who else do you know that’s gonna drop acid as research for a movie about hippies? Point to the sane man who thinks he can direct a coherent feature length movie in two days. Forget the six degrees of Kevin Bacon, how about the six degrees of Corman? This cat has hired and/or worked with the best in the biz: Jack Nicholson, Boris Karloff, Francis Ford Coppola, Jonathan Demme, Joe Dante, Peter Fonda, Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, Basil Rathbone, Peter Bogdanovich, Ray Milland, Bruce Dern, Robert Towne, Martin Scorsese, Ron Howard, and too many others to even mention. Genres? Oh yeah. He’s had a hand in everything from monster drive-in classics, artistic literary adaptations, foreign imports, westerns, gangsters, modern musicals and almost anything else in between. The trick is that he didn’t really think he was cool or an artist. He just did what stimulated him intellectually.

And today he’s a spry 80 years old.

As you may or may not know, I manage a mall-based corporate DVD store. In honor of Roger Corman’s birthday today, I did a pull together of titles we had in stock. Sadly, it wasn’t enormous, but there were some of his directorial classics: Little Shop of Horrors, I, Mobster, Wasp Woman, Last Woman on Earth, A Bucket of Blood, Creature from the Haunted Sea. I also found a few Corman productions: Dementia 13, Boxcar Bertha, Caged Heat, and Rock and Roll High School. Sadly, we had none of his great Edgar Allan Poe films or the 1960s counterculture flicks. When customers would wander in to the store, I’d point out the display and explain that it was in honor of Corman’s birthday. A few would stop and stare for a moment and then stagger off in search of Married with Children box sets or The Chronicles of Narnia. One person actually picked up Rock and Roll High School, pondering a purchase, but went for the new Flaming Lips CD instead of punk rock Ramones. Mostly I got blank looks and indifference.

In his book, How I Made a Hundred Movies in Hollywood and Never Lost a Dime, Corman was able to add visionary to his list of professional credits. He wrote, “The trick with theatrical exhibition nowadays is no longer to make big money on rentals as in the 1970s. Instead, you make some money theatrically, but use the release as advertising so you can get the video profits” (p. 228). How true that statement has become. While most of my customers couldn’t be bothered by his body of work, they were reaping the benefits of his business philosophy. DVD sales are the backbone of the new Hollywood with more money made on some films found in stores like mine rather than in the local megaplex. Ultimately, only movie geeks like me and historians will really care about his body of work because film is pop culture. Fads come and go and film fades into celluloid dreams. And Roger Corman was once their king.

Happy Birthday!

One of the great unanswered mysteries of the universe is “Why do Hollywood studios invariably make movies about a similar topic at the same time?” Remember Dante’s Peak and Volcano; or Mars Attacks! and Independence Day; or Twister and Night of the Twisters and Tornado!;or An American Werewolf in London and The Howling and Wolfen; or Dr. Strangelove and Fail Safe? One of the most famous examples was when Warner Brothers and 20th Century Fox combined dueling projects to save money with The Towering Inferno. Remember, these weren’t projects necessarily designed to cash in on a proven success, but a mad race to get there first.

Sadly, sometimes the better film gets squashed. 1991 saw the release of two retellings of the adventures in Sherwood Forest: Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and Robin Hood. To this day I have never watched more than five minutes of Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood and I don’t think I’ve missed anything. If I am wrong, please enlighten me. The other Robin Hood from that same year was scuttled from its theatrical release and became a TV movie on Fox instead. Oh that I had been diligent in my videotaping back then since the version they aired ran a full half hour longer than what has been issued on VHS and DVD.

Starring Patrick Bergin fresh off his marvelous turn as Sir Francis Burton in Mountains of the Moon, this Robin Hood is rooted in the muck and mire of the time period. Not only were things rotten, but muddy and gray. From a visual standpoint, this film utilizes the lack of sun as a symbol for oppression. One of the rays of sunshine is provided by a young Uma Thurman as Maid Marian. Most of the usual suspects are present with Prince John (Edward Fox) and the Sherrif of Nottingham being underplayed in order to bolster up true villainy, the Saxon Sir Miles Folcanet (Jurgen Prochnow). A great bit of business involves Folcanet having his throat cut as a point of irriatation by Robin several times on the way to larger life altering wounds. The climax of the film with the April Fools parade is a delight with a veritable beastiary of masks worn by the Merry Men as they invade the castle. If only Robin had worn a fox mask in homage to the Disney cartoon.

In reference to an earlier blog where I noted the various appearances of British actors in other projects, this film features David Morrissey as Little John by way of a North Country hardman. Mr. Morrissey can be seen currently in Basic Instinct 2, but should be remembered for his turn as Ripley in the Dennis Potter-esque musical/mystery Viva Blackpool! which co-starred the new Doctor Who, David Tennant.


While not as much a romp as Errol Flynn’s version, this Robin Hood deserves to be remembered as more than a footnote to Costner’s version. Patrick Bergin hasn’t really followed up on the success of this film. A few years later he would star in Merlin: The Return as King Arthur who has traveled through time with his knights and now attacks petrol trucks. Truly a Turkey Day classic.